Last night at my men’s meeting I spoke, as usual, with no plan or preparation. You can find it here. I spoke about masculinity and how I’ve learned manhood in the rooms. As always, you can find all (currently “both”) of my podcasts here.
It’s good to hear your voice. Nice talk. Although (and I heard you acknowledge this in the talk) every time you said the word “masculine” or “manly” it could have been replaced with the word “adult” without changing the meaning at all.
I think it’s also worth noting that the masculinity you talk about is experienced without reference to women. What does manliness look like in relationship to the feminine?
You’re right, of course. However, I also know you will agree that experiences of masculinity and feminity matter, and are real. Lessons taught by men to boys, and women to girls, matter. I’m not sure I can place an exact description on why it’s so, or how “masculine” is different from “grown up” in a gender neutral way. But it is. And I’ve learned it in AA.
I believe you, and I also very much believe in the need for people to spend some time with their own genders, apart from those of other genders. Masculinity and femininity are concepts that people ultimately need to define for themselves. Having anybody else define it for you only leads to insecurity.
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