Inching Closer.

Five days now. I’m looking forward to seeing my mom and Aunt Julie, but truth be told I’d be as happy to be running it with just BB and no one at the finish line. Sharing with too many people feels like dividing myself up and being spread too thin, emotionally. I don’t know how I’m going to feel at the end. I’d be happy to share that with just my partner. But life is what life is, and this run isn’t just about me.

It’s about my cousin Phillip, and his sacrifice. It’s about Aunt Julie, her grief, and her assistance in getting me a bib to race this race. And it’s about my mom, and her pride in her child aiming to accomplish something difficult. Those are all worthy things, and I am proud to take a part in putting them all forward. I’ll be proud of myself, when I finish. But then and there, it won’t be the time to say so.

I get to make it about me later. And here, on Infactorium. I’m the one who gets the medal. And I’m the one who gets to run side by side with my partner for the five-ish hours it will take to run the race. We get to be together. We get to accomplish this marathon jointly.

And you know what? Even if something goes wrong, and I get hurt or can’t finish or I just give up from cowardice and sloth, I’ve still run 471.5 miles in the training for this, in less than four months. I have 5 more to go this week. I’ve run a 21 mile run. I’ve accomplished so much just preparing to attempt a marathon, that I already feel like a victor. I’m 41 and in the best shape of my life.

I am, however, looking forward to switching things up for a while and not running all the damn time. A month after the marathon, I’m running a half marathon. And then I have nothing on the docket until March.