Gross Stupidity.

Well, I went out to WCC (West Coast City) and had a bunch of interviews for a potential new job. It was very exciting and I would love working with the group. I’d be a leader in the organization and a project group lead with three or four people reporting to me (at least in effect, if not officially). It’s a daunting but thrilling opportunity. BB also had very productive interviews and we’re hopeful about making a move.

But I asked for too much money. Probably by about $25,000. And I hope I didn’t fuck the whole opportunity. I can’t tell. But I had a really promising conversation with the person who’d be my boss who buttered me up and told me how I’d be management within a year or two and how much they were excited to have me and how the position I was getting was basically a starting director position, and then he asked me how much I wanted.

And so I told them too much. I didn’t really have a thorough game plan, and then I did what I too often do when I’m stressed, which is change my game plan on the fly. That made me make bad choices. And now I have to sit here and wait and worry and hope. I’ve been in this situation before, way back when I was trying to start a consulting company (while I still drank). I asked for way to much, got passed on, and ended up spiraling.

I don’t worry about a drunken spiral this time. But I am concerned that I fucked myself with stupidity and greed and ego. I hope it wasn’t fatal. Now I’m back in ECC, and hopeful that I will get a communication today. My prospective boss told me “Wednesday at the latest”, but I know things take time especially the week before Christmas. I really want this, readers. I really want this.