Clipped Wings.

I feel very strange. For the first time in 19.5 years, I do not own a car. Today I took my beloved Volvo C30 to a car auction lot and left it there, traded for a piece of paper with numbers and names on it. In the 14 days I’ve lived in ECC, I’ve used my car three times, and two of those were to take my mother to and from the airport. The other time was to go to Ikea to get a rug. It’s easy to get around ECC on busses and by subway. There’s simply no reason, where I live, to own a car. Grocery store across the street, a mile from work, etc..

But I feel a bit like a bird with clipped wings. Something about car ownership is ingrained in America, in me. I like driving. I like the freedom. I like road trips. I like to drive around listening to NPR. I’ve lost that here. It’s been replaced with many wonderful things, of course. ECC has so much more to offer than St. Louis did in a compact, walkable area. St. Louis is a great cultural city, don’t get me wrong. But it’s very spread out. Miles and miles separate the cultural institutions from one another. In ECC, they’re all within a 10 minute bus ride of my apartment, and most are within a 10 minute walk.

So I’m excited. That was the last thing that I needed to do to settle here, other than start my job, I think. But I definitely feel disoriented without a car. It’ll present challenges. But I’ve faced a lot of challenges to get here. I’ve changed my whole way of being. And I’m happy about it. And terrified still. So much has changed, and I still need to learn what new challenges I’m facing. I have, however, found that I’ve been equal to most of the challenges I’ve faced lately. With help, and lot of it, I’ve done ok. I’m still looking forward.