I’m feeling a bit more centered and relaxed after a great men’s meeting and talk with my sponsor last night. More and more I’m beginning to feel like the end is near for my primary interaction with the online world, my Dr. 24hours twitter account. I may return to this being my main space, and I may take time off here too. I’m thinking of trying to do a different kind of writing for a while. A kind that’s not directly posted for the world to see immediately. I don’t know. Things are vague. But the way I’m interacting with the online world needs to change somehow.
This weekend I’m heading to Providence, RI to run in the half-marathon. I’m excited to run with my friend and with my partner. It will be the smallest race I’ve run: fewer than 5000 people between the half-marathon and the marathon put together, and those two races are mostly on different courses. I suspect it may be a fairly sparsely populated affair, once we get out on the roads. It’ll be interesting to see if I prefer the different vibe.
This race is not about speed. Not about trying to put up a big time. It’s just about running. I want to run from one end to the other with my friend and my partner and cross the finish line and then get brunch. That’s the whole goal. I want another medal to photograph and display on my wall. I want to check off another goal and feel confident going in to the fall running season with another half-marathon and a full marathon on my docket.
It’s a crazy travel schedule, and far worse for BB than for me. But we’ll do it. We stretch to do difficult things. I expect the Providence half to be more difficult because I think it’s kind of hilly. I’ve done a little running on hills, but ECC doesn’t have many, and that makes it tough to do serious training. I think I’m going to start running the stairs in front of our big institutional museum building. If I’m going to dispense of this flab I need to kick my efforts up another gear.
I don’t know what my goals will take to reach. But I know I’m striving. Striving is good. And failing is ok. I work hard to achieve things, and I’m eager to succeed. But I learn from making it, and from falling short. And my real goal is to try, daringly. When my goal is to try, I almost always find myself achieving.